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Sunday, November 26, 2006

Where Are Parents These Days?

I am too old fashioned, no fun, mean, and just downright set to destroy my kids lives. At least that is what they say to me regularly. Having two teen daughters presents incredible challenges. Like all parents I want to spoil my kids. I want them to have the best of everything, and be popular, and have a childhood that will be free of drama and regret. However, to be a good parent and accomplish the role that God gave me, this isn't always possible.

I have always heard what everyone else was/is/can/will be doing, and have heard what so and so's parents allow and what so and so's parents say about their kids freedom. I tell my kids all the time that the more I hear that, the more difficult it is to change my mind.

I could go on and on. My kids hear me say "no" about as often as yes. The title link is about two 15 year old kids who set off homemade bombs in a WalMart. First, how were they making bombs without a parent knowing? I know kids do all kinds of things without us knowing, but alot of that is simply ignorance of the signs. Second, how were 15 year olds turned loose in a WalMart without parents being around somewhere?

Lastly, where were the parents the first 15 years of life to make sure that this didn't even cross their minds?

7 Posts From Readers:

Brooke said...

I don't have your problems yet... My three are five years and under!

They do hear the word "NO" with frequently, and they often hear one my daddy passed on to me: Stop that crying or I'll give you a reason to cry!

Laurie said...

This is my favorite from childhood:

"You just WAIT until we get in the car!"

The masses want to shed the bonds of responsibility these days, and since 50% of all pregnancies are unplanned, a lot of those responsibilities are unwanted and unmet. It's my explanation for the sorriest of situations, anyway.

Robert said...

Brooke, I use that line too. I always said I would never become my parents, but I did! lol

Laurie, I think you are right on the mark. It is the manifestation of the "it is always someone else' fault" mentality that permeates our culture so deeply.

Of course, when girls are raised to believe that they have the right to kill before birth, what value does that place on being s responsible parent?

I didn't have to wait for the car, it became a destination of it's own....

Nicho said...

I have subtly used a simple tactic on my children so as to avoid the accusations of being a mean parent by the time they enter their teens. When I tell them know, they will inevitably ask why and I tell them: "Because I'm a cold, cruel, viscious, mean and otherwise an awful parent." There's three of them between the ages of 8 and 10 and they've already come to expect the answer. "It's really very simple," I tell them, " I'm Dad and your my child. If you mess up our relationship now, I'll never help you out with anything ever again."

What it boils down to is how involved a parent is in their child's life. It's a trust thing, too. I joke with my kids, but they know that I'm sincere and as fair as I can be with them. When I'm wrong, which isn't often but it does happen, I admit it and apologize for the error. It's all about trust and my kids know they can trust me and come to me about anything. They also know that if they mess up and don't come to me about it, I will assume absolutely no responsiblity for their actions and they have to take whatever heat comes their way. So far, so good.

WomanHonorThyself said...

good post Robert..stay strict thats what I do!
what tune is playing btw?..:)

Robert said...

The first one is "Banana Pancakes" by Jack Johnson. I put 5 on the playlist, and you can forward to the next one if you like.

I stole this add-in from Brooke at Neocon Command Center. It is a nice touch, or at least I think so.

Laurie said...

Re: Abortion...why take responsibility for your actions when you can dispense with those responsibilities with either a pill or a small vacuum?

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